Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
