we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
