i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
