Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
