My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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