so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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