Midget sex pt 2 tonight
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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