oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
