So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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