There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
