That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
