I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
