I think i peed on brittanys purse
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
MIDGETS
????
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
