We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
