looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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