OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
