there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
