I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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