the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
