Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
