can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You made out with two different species that night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
