And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
In America we eat man semen.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
