i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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