We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize