saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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