so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
