sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
