I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
