We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
