i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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