Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There are leaves in my underwear?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
