If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i have two assholes
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
