all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
