Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
