this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
