Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
