Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
