If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
