dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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