Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
that may or may not have been my penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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