she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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