I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm like, not good at living.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
