well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize