she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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