Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
