so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize