I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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