Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I CAN MOONWALK!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
