Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
