I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
