At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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