Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So vagazzling was a success
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
