Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
