I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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