Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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