I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
