No awkward lesbian experiences without me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
