eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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