I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
