we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
