Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
