worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
