we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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