RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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