is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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