Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
