I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
